William Niall Burke

My name is Dina , Niall and I had decided what our future was to be we where buying a house and I fell pregnant and we where so excited we had a few disapproving words as we are not married but we didn't care, I hated being pregnant but how I miss it now, I was sick from day 1, very bad back pain couldn't walk some days , and like everyone's 1st pregnancy I didn't know what came next was this pain labour was this normal , I had everyone's head done in with all my questions and panic attacks,besides all that I had a healthy pregnancy,Niall wanted a boy I didn't mind but he wished and wished he reckoned all little girls need a older brother for protection. which I found funny he has 4 older sisters and he is the eldest boy.
I was due 10th august 2006 and counted the hours I felt so fat and I was in extreme pain with pressure on my pelvic bone . I cried and cried all I wanted was my body back I felt really selfish but didn't care I finally went into labour 8.45 PM left the house texting all on the way, 45 min later telling them the doctors couldn't find a heart beat,we were in shock I suppose. I rang mam and his mother as cam and told them the news,
I asked the nurses could I have a c section and I was told no , I couldn't believe it I though that is disgraceful you should have some consideration and not make me go ahead with the labour but no I remember thinking I have a dead thing in me get it out. now I feel terrible that I could think such a thing but I was in shock ,it still doesn't ease that guilt. I finally gave birth at 8.10 am to William 8lb 8oz and 57 cm long he was huge I couldn't bring myself to look at him or hold him I was hurting so much and I felt so bad for my Niall all I could see was his pain and tears I kept apologising how bad of a person was I couldn't protect my baby iv let everyone down. the next day I finally could look at him and touch him we had a naming mass for him it was lovely, but I still couldn't hold him but this time it was because I new I would never let him go. I do think what kind of person am I not being able to hold my child but I know he forgives me. Its still very early days for me the pain is getting worse and my poor Niall is trying to be so strong but I can see his pain is just as bad as mine.

Name - William means protector
Star Sign - Leo the lion playfull,stuburn,charming
Birthstone -Peridot

On the 4th December 2006 I miscarried our 2nd child who we nick named our little bean. I was 10 weeks gone, This is another devastating loss for us but once again Niall is my rock.

On the 5th Of April 2008 I misscarried our 3rd child our little bambeano , I was 5 weeks gone devastated, It was another kick in the teeth while down it is amazing from the work positive how you plan the rest of your life andf to have your dreams taken away for a 3rd time is hard to accept.

I have wrote a little poem.

Our three little angles, so loved so wanted so terribly missed
Everyday a wish is wished your names are spoken a tear is cried
Our beautiful little baby’s we long to have you near .
Until that day our two little angles will wish to have you near
The world will know your names and that you did exist and we will all shed a tear and a smile for our two beautiful little angles who almost made it here


This pome was wrote for us from william by andy

To Mammy and Daddy,

How great it was to be loved,
I thought as I swam within you,
All the times your hands caressed me,
And I listened to you both coo,

I felt your warmth and tenderness,
As I kicked and bashed at you,
I herd you laugh wholeheartedly,
As you talked the whole night through,

The time we spent together ,
Was short,
I felt it too ,
But rest assured my mum and dad,
Your love for me came through,

That’s why Ill never leave you,
Our thoughts will be as one,
Although my body leaves this earth,
Ill always be your son,

So mum and dad,
This is not goodbye,
But just a fond adieu ,
Do not cry with sadness ,
But remember my time with you,

Hold on to the love,
We shared together,
And God will see you through