| Location | Dublin Ireland |
| Age | 0 |
| Date of Birth | 8/2006 |
| Date of Death | 8/2006 |
| Visitors | 7,344 since 01/10/2006 |
| Creator |
My name is Dina , Niall and I had decided what our future was to be we where buying a house and I
fell pregnant and we where so excited we had a few disapproving words as we are not married but we
didn't care, I hated being pregnant but how I miss it now, I was sick from day 1, very bad back
pain couldn't walk some days , and like everyone's 1st pregnancy I didn't know what
came next was this pain labour was this normal , I had everyone's head done in with all my
questions and panic attacks,besides all that I had a healthy pregnancy,Niall wanted a boy I
didn't mind but he wished and wished he reckoned all little girls need a older brother for
protection. which I found funny he has 4 older sisters and he is the eldest boy.
I was due 10th august 2006 and counted the hours I felt so fat and I was in extreme pain with
pressure on my pelvic bone . I cried and cried all I wanted was my body back I felt really selfish
but didn't care I finally went into labour 8.45 PM left the house texting all on the way, 45
min later telling them the doctors couldn't find a heart beat,we were in shock I suppose. I
rang mam and his mother as cam and told them the news,
I asked the nurses could I have a c section and I was told no , I couldn't believe it I though
that is disgraceful you should have some consideration and not make me go ahead with the labour but
no I remember thinking I have a dead thing in me get it out. now I feel terrible that I could think
such a thing but I was in shock ,it still doesn't ease that guilt. I finally gave birth at 8.10
am to William 8lb 8oz and 57 cm long he was huge I couldn't bring myself to look at him or hold
him I was hurting so much and I felt so bad for my Niall all I could see was his pain and tears I
kept apologising how bad of a person was I couldn't protect my baby iv let everyone down. the
next day I finally could look at him and touch him we had a naming mass for him it was lovely, but I
still couldn't hold him but this time it was because I new I would never let him go. I do think
what kind of person am I not being able to hold my child but I know he forgives me. Its still very
early days for me the pain is getting worse and my poor Niall is trying to be so strong but I can
see his pain is just as bad as mine.
Name - William means protector
Star Sign - Leo the lion playfull,stuburn,charming
Birthstone -Peridot
On the 4th December 2006 I miscarried our 2nd child who we nick named our little bean. I was 10
weeks gone, This is another devastating loss for us but once again Niall is my rock.
On the 5th Of April 2008 I misscarried our 3rd child our little bambeano , I was 5 weeks gone
devastated, It was another kick in the teeth while down it is amazing from the work positive how you
plan the rest of your life andf to have your dreams taken away for a 3rd time is hard to accept.
I have wrote a little poem.
Our three little angles, so loved so wanted so terribly missed
Everyday a wish is wished your names are spoken a tear is cried
Our beautiful little baby’s we long to have you near .
Until that day our two little angles will wish to have you near
The world will know your names and that you did exist and we will all shed a tear and a smile for
our two beautiful little angles who almost made it here
This pome was wrote for us from william by andy
To Mammy and Daddy,
How great it was to be loved,
I thought as I swam within you,
All the times your hands caressed me,
And I listened to you both coo,
I felt your warmth and tenderness,
As I kicked and bashed at you,
I herd you laugh wholeheartedly,
As you talked the whole night through,
The time we spent together ,
Was short,
I felt it too ,
But rest assured my mum and dad,
Your love for me came through,
That’s why Ill never leave you,
Our thoughts will be as one,
Although my body leaves this earth,
Ill always be your son,
So mum and dad,
This is not goodbye,
But just a fond adieu ,
Do not cry with sadness ,
But remember my time with you,
Hold on to the love,
We shared together,
And God will see you through
You are in my thoughts at this difficult time - cannot think of anything else to say to you - am sitting here with tears running down my face. You are are such a brave woman - a woman that William is no doubt proud to call mummy.
words can say so much but not mean a thing i lost my son age 5 months, Anthony Christoper Jones, and all the sorries i heard did not register a thing in me sorry was not going to bring him back home to me. I know what it means to lose a child, but two, i cant even compare, i know if i lost another well i dont want to think about that. You and Niell must have a very strong relationship and this i am sure will help you both find the strenght to carry on. My sister lost two babies but carried on and now not only has she got a beautiful daughter she also now has two beautiful gran daughters. i now have four children 10 granchildren and another due in May. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. we never forget the ones we lost we still will always love and think about them we just learn to live with it each passing day. Hold on tight to each other and keep that love in your heart. I hope this gives you a little comfort and hope for the future. God Bless you all. My prayers and my heart go out to you all.
deepest sympathies
Hi guys, just read your words, and can't understand or imagine what you two must be going through. All that can be said is that you'll be in my thoughts and hope that some day in the future the pain will ease however it will never be forgotten. life will get better as you two deserve it. Keep smiling as you can be sure he is. all my very best
-Mark
dear dina
hello dina
just want to send you some hugs hun and to let u know that im thinking of you and your family at christmas time hun.i lost my daughter she was stillborn last april and i miss her terribly still if u need to talk u know where i am my daughters addy is
http;//charlotte-jade-parsons.memory-of.com/
Hi Dina i have just read your story, how brave you are, dont feel guilty your children know you love them and always will, god takes the good ones, and takes the very special ones, my thoughts are with you. take care. x
Hi
Over the past few months we have lost 3 babies in our family. All three cousins lost their babies but the hardest was just recently at 26 weeks. Christopher Paul born to my DH's cousin was born by emergency csection due to a placenta abruption. He weighed just 2lbs and lived two days. He was their first baby and like you she had all her hopes and dreams for him. But those dreams were shattered and short lived.
When he was born he was wrapped in a blanket and placed in their room with a Moses basket so they could cuddle and talk to him. They spent 3 days with him and close family members could visit and meet him before he was moved to the chapel and then buried a week after he was born. The day before the funeral they picked up his head stone and plot but closed the funeral to parents and their parents. They should have been starting their family life with him but it wasn't to be.
All week I spent time thinking about them and what I could do to make it better for them. A tree came to mind and then a poem or a card but just nothing seemed appropriate. Then I found your post on Eumom and I followed your link to your site. When I read your story I began to understand some of the feelings she may have felt and then being given the opportunity to light a candle for him and tell some of their story made me feel like I was doing a small part to remember him.
Thank you for that opporunity. Your strength is truly over whelming and I hope that any guilt you have felt or are feeling leave you and you instead feel the warmth and support of your friends and family and those of us from differant sites around the world. It is obvious that you have close friends and family members who love you and only want the best for you and your family and want to remember William Niall like you do forever.
God bless you and your family. I wish you and your husband much happiness and again thank you. xxx
hi dina
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, i too lost my baby boy this july i was 41 weeks and one day over when he died.
You sound very simerlar to me i am too 22 it was also my first pregnancy and i didnt know what to expect.
I also hated being pregnant i felt as though i was going to be pregnant forever and i couldnt wait to have him i counted the days and looked forward to the idea of being able to fit back in to my jeans again.
My world fell apart when i found out tyler had died, i couldnt belive that this had happenend to me,i also asked for a c section and they told me i had to do it naturaly because of future pregnancys that was the last thing that i wanted to talk about.
All through my labour i prayed that they had been wrong and that il hear him cry. I also didnt know wether i would have it in me to be able to hold him i felt so sick.
When i saw him he was so dinky he weighed 5 pounds 13 but he was beautiful and he was mine the overwhelming feeling of love that i had was unbeliverable and i couldnt accept that he was gone.
The love that you have for your child nothing eles comes close.
I to miss my little bump now and theres nothing more in the world that i want i just want him.
I am thinking of you babe and william too, i know the pain confusion and emptyness that your feeling, the hurt and the loss. The pain has not got better i miss him more everyday, always thinking about 'what if'. My life is so different to what it should of been.
If you want to talk i have found that talking to those that have been through a similar situation have helped me, my email is hayleywilson.06@hotmail.co.uk.
Thinking of you all my love hayley xxxxxxx
I have just read your story and am truly touched. I admire you for sharing your story with us. William is truely an angel. Take comfort in knowing that he will always watch over your family and knows what a brave Mammy & Daddy he has. Another little star for heaven is how I like to remember my loss.
Hi Dina,
I have just read you story. It sounds very similar to mine. My heart goes out to you and Niall.
It is very very ealry stages for you yet. The pain never goes away but gets easier.
Just think of our little ones playing around up there.
Thinking of you
Doll x
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